this town don't feel mine

in my town of hibbing, minnesota. it feels different than other places. I grew up in Pengilly, Minnesota. Population of like 100. Average age, 100. The only rule was: don't piss off the old people. Otherwise, you can do whatever the fuck you wanted. We didn't have cops, maybe one trooper every month or so and when he come rolling in, the whole town knew about it. After pengilly, I moved up north to Theif River at the age of 22. Started a job at Digi Key which I took for granted as now I find myself searching and wanting parts that digi key sells. It was s good job. I put presure on myself and burnt myself out two years later. I discovered if I take another instant release Adderal, i could do more picks per hour. hence getting me promoted and eventually found a girl named ashley. but we aren't going to talk about her much. anyways, I worked in the JN bay which meant i was dealing with static electritiy sensitive products. I was even in a beta program for these things we had to wear on our shoes. my "straps" were different from everyones. I than got moved to a dry pack bay. Which is the most expensive bay on the floor. I was dealing with intels new CPUS the i7 which were priced at a few thousand. so in a tray, there would be like 20 cpus. and so an order would come in saying they wanted like 5 or 6. So I would go to where the product was in my bay, cut it open, than use suction pens because not allowed to touch as the oils on your skin can fuck up the product. anyways. when I got an order, it would take me about 20 mins. normally in a bay like JN, it would take me seconds to mions if digireel. I actually met these high up japanese executives. they shook my hand which was cool. the only problem once was I mis counted and it was a japan order so it had to be perfect because they don't pay to ship it back, digikey has to pay i guess. One day I remember driving to drop SHeena's kids off at daycare. I remember looking at Ashley and saying, today isn't goin to be a good day. I just felt it. I clocked in and began working. around first break. I just said fuck it. clocked out and walked out. my managaer called me and actually begged for me to stay since I had high picks and low errors. got along with everyone and didn;t bullshit. well, i was put on FMLA but I didn't know you had to call everyday. so I was fired. a few months went by and ashley and I were living in this single storied house. than her sister got divorced and moved in with her two girls. this house was tiny. 3 adults, 2 girls below the age of 3. two little fucking rat dogs, than myt scout. scout was stressed and had to be in his little kennel all day. i hated seeing him in there. scout isn't like that hes such a puppy. anyways he hated those chiwahas. Sheena was hot as fuck. There was always people over at ourt house. One day it all came down. After this bad snow storm. i remember shoveling the driveway and there was 7 feet of snow from the plow. and it was hard. well when I got done with that, ashley told me to get out. I found out why later but I spent a few days at aunty brendas. where I literally just slept. eventually got enough stregnth and move me and scout back down to pengilly. I walk into this house I grew up in. 22 years and I walk in and my moms stuff is all gone. they got a divorce just months before. oh but than my dad says to sell all the rest of moms stuff. oh and don';t tell anyone that dad is having a friend over.I began to drink. I found xannies and brandy helped me sleep and forget shit. so much i would forget I would throw up at night and destroy my room. onlyh to clean it up the next day. Well one nightr, i said I was going to kill myself on facebook. i dont remember it at all because I was blacked out. I remember waking up to the cops. than the next morning i was researching treatment places than the next day I was on my way to Hazelden. small town boy ploppled in the biggest city in the state. no stars. didnt know anyone. no small town friendlys. just stern straight faces. i cried. hated it.

SOME of the phones i got.

Forza Horizon 5 Boot Up Issue

so this has been happening to me for a while now. it was "fixed" with an update but now its doing it again. what i mean is, i click on forza horizon 5 in the xbox app on my pc, it shows the loading screen than just cuts off. solutions: keep clicking 6,7,8,9,10 times. strangely, open task manager and disk management in windows 11, sometimes that seems to work. othet than that, just keep clicking and waiting. try downloading something at max speed or fire up a few programs. it seems if your pc is working hard, than it slows the game down which allows it to boot up?

Shadow Ultra Setup Specs With Upgraded Storage

System Information Report Generated by System Information Date: 1/30/2021 https://www.iobit.com

Menu     Operating System     Processor & Motherboard     Memory Device     Drives     Display     Network     Other Devices

Overall
General
Operating System	Microsoft Windows 10 Home
Central Processor	Intel(R) Xeon(R) W-3235 CPU @ 3.30GHz
User Name	travi
Graphics
Video Adapter	NVIDIA Quadro RTX 5000
Video Memory	16.0 GB
Screen Resolution	1920 x 1080
Storage
Total Memory	16.0 GB
Free Memory	13.3 GB
Total Hard disk	2047.4 GB
Free Hard disk	936.8 GB
I/O
Mouse	PS/2 Compatible Mouse
Keyboard	HID Keyboard Device

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Operating System
Computer System
Computer Name	SHADOW-TD6SL19E
User Name	USER
Organization	N/A
Operating System
OS Name	Microsoft Windows 10 Home
OS Version	10.0.19042
Product ID	00326-10000-00000-AA112
System Up Time	1/30/2021 2:38:33 PM
Internet Explorer Version	11.782.19041.0
Microsoft DirectX Version	DirectX 12
OpenGL Version	10.0.19041.546 (WinBuild.160101.0800)
Registry
Maximum Size	4095 MB
Current Size	114 MB
Status	OK

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Processor & Motherboard
Central Processor
CPU Name	Intel(R) Xeon(R) W-3235 CPU @ 3.30GHz
Number of logical processors	8
Code Name	N/A
Manufacturer	GenuineIntel
Current Clock Speed	3300 Mhz
Max Clock Speed	3300 Mhz
Voltage	Unknown
External Clock	NULL Mhz
Serial Number	0F8BFBFF00050657
CPU ID	Intel64 Family 6 Model 85 Stepping 7
Socket Designation	CPU 0
Motherboard
Model	ShadowM
Manufacturer	Blade
Serial Number	/N8M07UB/2YYJL96DTM47DV/
BIOS Name	1.0.0
BIOS Vendor	Blade
SMBIOS Version	1.0.0
BIOS Date	1/3/2019
BIOS Features
BIOS Characteristics Not Supported	Yes

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Memory Device
Memory Resource
Total Memory	16.0 GB
Used Memory	2.7 GB
Free Memory	13.3 GB
Memory Usage	16%
Physical Memory
Memory Bank	N/A
Description	Physical Memory 0
Device Locator	System Board Memory 0
Capacity	16.0 GB
Speed	2400 Mhz
Manufacturer	Blade
Data Width	NULL bit
Memory Type	RAM
Form Factor	DIMM

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Drives
Disk Drives
Name	QEMU QEMU HARDDISK SCSI Disk Device
Media Type	Fixed hard disk media
Capability	1792.0 GB
Interface Type	SCSI
Partitions	1
Total Cylinders	233930
Total Heads	255
Total Sectors	3758085450
Total Tracks	59652150
Tracks Per Cylinder	255
Bytes Per Sector	512
Sectors Per Track	63
Disk Drives
Name	QEMU QEMU HARDDISK SCSI Disk Device
Media Type	Fixed hard disk media
Capability	256.0 GB
Interface Type	SCSI
Partitions	3
Total Cylinders	33418
Total Heads	255
Total Sectors	536860170
Total Tracks	8521590
Tracks Per Cylinder	255
Bytes Per Sector	512
Sectors Per Track	63
IDE Controller
Name	Intel(R) 82371SB PCI Bus Master IDE Controller
Manufacturer	Intel
Status	OK

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Display
Video Adapter
Name	NVIDIA Quadro RTX 5000
Video Processor	Quadro RTX 5000
Manufacturer	NVIDIA
Video Architecture	VGA
DAC Type	Integrated RAMDAC
Memory Size	16.0 GB
Memory Type	Unknown
Video Mode	1920 x 1080 x 4294967296 colors
Current Refresh Rate	59 Hz
Driver Version	27.21.14.6109
Driver Date	12/31/2020
Monitor
Name	Generic PnP Monitor
Screen Height	1080
Screen Width	1920
Status	OK

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Network
Ethernet
Product Name	Red Hat VirtIO Ethernet Adapter
Service Name	netkvm
Manufacturer	Red Hat, Inc.
MAC Address	00:42:F1:FE:D4:EC
Ethernet 2
Product Name	TunnelBear Adapter V9
Service Name	tap-tb-0901
Manufacturer	TunnelBear Provider V9
MAC Address	00:FF:BE:A7:AC:4F

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Other Devices
Sound Device
Name	Shadow Virtual Audio Device
Manufacturer	ShadowVirtualAudio
Status	OK
Sound Device
Name	Shadow Virtual Audio Device
Manufacturer	ShadowVirtualAudio
Status	OK
Mouse
Name	PS/2 Compatible Mouse
Manufacturer	Microsoft
Buttons	0
Status	OK
Mouse
Name	HID-compliant mouse
Manufacturer	Microsoft
Buttons	0
Status	OK
Mouse
Name	HID-compliant mouse
Manufacturer	Microsoft
Buttons	0
Status	OK
Mouse
Name	HID-compliant mouse
Manufacturer	Microsoft
Buttons	0
Status	OK
Mouse
Name	HID-compliant mouse
Manufacturer	Microsoft
Buttons	0
Status	OK
Keyboard
Name	HID Keyboard Device
Description	Enhanced (101- or 102-key)
Function Keys	12
Status	OK
Keyboard
Name	Standard PS/2 Keyboard
Description	Enhanced (101- or 102-key)
Function Keys	12
Status	OK
Keyboard
Name	HID Keyboard Device
Description	Enhanced (101- or 102-key)
Function Keys	12
Status	OK
Keyboard
Name	HID Keyboard Device
Description	Enhanced (101- or 102-key)
Function Keys	12
Status	OK
Keyboard
Name	USB Input Device
Description	Enhanced (101- or 102-key)
Function Keys	12
Status	OK
USB Controller
Product Name	Intel(R) 82371SB PCI to USB Universal Host Controller
Manufacturer	Intel
Protocol Supported	Universal Serial Bus
Status	OK
USB Controller
Product Name	Intel(R) 82371SB PCI to USB Universal Host Controller
Manufacturer	Intel
Protocol Supported	Universal Serial Bus
Status	OK
USB Controller
Product Name	Intel(R) 82801DB/DBM USB 2.0 Enhanced Host Controller - 24CD
Manufacturer	Intel
Protocol Supported	Universal Serial Bus
Status	OK
USB Controller
Product Name	Renesas USB 3.0 eXtensible Host Controller - 1.0 (Microsoft)
Manufacturer	Generic USB xHCI Host Controller
Protocol Supported	Universal Serial Bus
Status	OK