Tuesday, October 7, 2025

this town don't feel mine

in my town of hibbing, minnesota. it feels different than other places. I grew up in Pengilly, Minnesota. Population of like 100. Average age, 100. The only rule was: don't piss off the old people. Otherwise, you can do whatever the fuck you wanted. We didn't have cops, maybe one trooper every month or so and when he come rolling in, the whole town knew about it. After pengilly, I moved up north to Theif River at the age of 22. Started a job at Digi Key which I took for granted as now I find myself searching and wanting parts that digi key sells. It was s good job. I put presure on myself and burnt myself out two years later. I discovered if I take another instant release Adderal, i could do more picks per hour. hence getting me promoted and eventually found a girl named ashley. but we aren't going to talk about her much. anyways, I worked in the JN bay which meant i was dealing with static electritiy sensitive products. I was even in a beta program for these things we had to wear on our shoes. my "straps" were different from everyones. I than got moved to a dry pack bay. Which is the most expensive bay on the floor. I was dealing with intels new CPUS the i7 which were priced at a few thousand. so in a tray, there would be like 20 cpus. and so an order would come in saying they wanted like 5 or 6. So I would go to where the product was in my bay, cut it open, than use suction pens because not allowed to touch as the oils on your skin can fuck up the product. anyways. when I got an order, it would take me about 20 mins. normally in a bay like JN, it would take me seconds to mions if digireel. I actually met these high up japanese executives. they shook my hand which was cool. the only problem once was I mis counted and it was a japan order so it had to be perfect because they don't pay to ship it back, digikey has to pay i guess. One day I remember driving to drop SHeena's kids off at daycare. I remember looking at Ashley and saying, today isn't goin to be a good day. I just felt it. I clocked in and began working. around first break. I just said fuck it. clocked out and walked out. my managaer called me and actually begged for me to stay since I had high picks and low errors. got along with everyone and didn;t bullshit. well, i was put on FMLA but I didn't know you had to call everyday. so I was fired. a few months went by and ashley and I were living in this single storied house. than her sister got divorced and moved in with her two girls. this house was tiny. 3 adults, 2 girls below the age of 3. two little fucking rat dogs, than myt scout. scout was stressed and had to be in his little kennel all day. i hated seeing him in there. scout isn't like that hes such a puppy. anyways he hated those chiwahas. Sheena was hot as fuck. There was always people over at ourt house. One day it all came down. After this bad snow storm. i remember shoveling the driveway and there was 7 feet of snow from the plow. and it was hard. well when I got done with that, ashley told me to get out. I found out why later but I spent a few days at aunty brendas. where I literally just slept. eventually got enough stregnth and move me and scout back down to pengilly. I walk into this house I grew up in. 22 years and I walk in and my moms stuff is all gone. they got a divorce just months before. oh but than my dad says to sell all the rest of moms stuff. oh and don';t tell anyone that dad is having a friend over.I began to drink. I found xannies and brandy helped me sleep and forget shit. so much i would forget I would throw up at night and destroy my room. onlyh to clean it up the next day. Well one nightr, i said I was going to kill myself on facebook. i dont remember it at all because I was blacked out. I remember waking up to the cops. than the next morning i was researching treatment places than the next day I was on my way to Hazelden. small town boy ploppled in the biggest city in the state. no stars. didnt know anyone. no small town friendlys. just stern straight faces. i cried. hated it.

Saturday, August 26, 2023

Forza Horizon 5 Boot Up Issue

so this has been happening to me for a while now. it was "fixed" with an update but now its doing it again. what i mean is, i click on forza horizon 5 in the xbox app on my pc, it shows the loading screen than just cuts off. solutions: keep clicking 6,7,8,9,10 times. strangely, open task manager and disk management in windows 11, sometimes that seems to work. othet than that, just keep clicking and waiting. try downloading something at max speed or fire up a few programs. it seems if your pc is working hard, than it slows the game down which allows it to boot up?

Saturday, January 30, 2021

Shadow Ultra Setup Specs With Upgraded Storage

System Information Report

System Information Report

Generated by System Information
Date: 1/30/2021
https://www.iobit.com


    Menu
    Operating System
    Processor & Motherboard
    Memory Device
    Drives
    Display
    Network
    Other Devices


Overall
 General
    Operating System    Microsoft Windows 10 Home
    Central Processor    Intel(R) Xeon(R) W-3235 CPU @ 3.30GHz
    User Name    travi
 Graphics
    Video Adapter    NVIDIA Quadro RTX 5000
    Video Memory    16.0 GB
    Screen Resolution    1920 x 1080
 Storage
    Total Memory    16.0 GB
    Free Memory    13.3 GB
    Total Hard disk    2047.4 GB
    Free Hard disk    936.8 GB
 I/O
    Mouse    PS/2 Compatible Mouse
    Keyboard    HID Keyboard Device

Top

Operating System
 Computer System
    Computer Name    SHADOW-TD6SL19E
    User Name    USER
    Organization    N/A
 Operating System
    OS Name    Microsoft Windows 10 Home
    OS Version    10.0.19042
    Product ID    00326-10000-00000-AA112
    System Up Time    1/30/2021 2:38:33 PM
    Internet Explorer Version    11.782.19041.0
    Microsoft DirectX Version    DirectX 12
    OpenGL Version    10.0.19041.546 (WinBuild.160101.0800)
 Registry
    Maximum Size    4095 MB
    Current Size    114 MB
    Status    OK

Top

Processor & Motherboard
 Central Processor
    CPU Name    Intel(R) Xeon(R) W-3235 CPU @ 3.30GHz
    Number of logical processors    8
    Code Name    N/A
    Manufacturer    GenuineIntel
    Current Clock Speed    3300 Mhz
    Max Clock Speed    3300 Mhz
    Voltage    Unknown
    External Clock    NULL Mhz
    Serial Number    0F8BFBFF00050657
    CPU ID    Intel64 Family 6 Model 85 Stepping 7
    Socket Designation    CPU 0
 Motherboard
    Model    ShadowM
    Manufacturer    Blade
    Serial Number    /N8M07UB/2YYJL96DTM47DV/
    BIOS Name    1.0.0
    BIOS Vendor    Blade
    SMBIOS Version    1.0.0
    BIOS Date    1/3/2019
 BIOS Features
    BIOS Characteristics Not Supported    Yes

Top

Memory Device
 Memory Resource
    Total Memory    16.0 GB
    Used Memory    2.7 GB
    Free Memory    13.3 GB
    Memory Usage    16%
 Physical Memory
    Memory Bank    N/A
    Description    Physical Memory 0
    Device Locator    System Board Memory 0
    Capacity    16.0 GB
    Speed    2400 Mhz
    Manufacturer    Blade
    Data Width    NULL bit
    Memory Type    RAM
    Form Factor    DIMM

Top

Drives
 Disk Drives
    Name    QEMU QEMU HARDDISK SCSI Disk Device
    Media Type    Fixed hard disk media
    Capability    1792.0 GB
    Interface Type    SCSI
    Partitions    1
    Total Cylinders    233930
    Total Heads    255
    Total Sectors    3758085450
    Total Tracks    59652150
    Tracks Per Cylinder    255
    Bytes Per Sector    512
    Sectors Per Track    63
 Disk Drives
    Name    QEMU QEMU HARDDISK SCSI Disk Device
    Media Type    Fixed hard disk media
    Capability    256.0 GB
    Interface Type    SCSI
    Partitions    3
    Total Cylinders    33418
    Total Heads    255
    Total Sectors    536860170
    Total Tracks    8521590
    Tracks Per Cylinder    255
    Bytes Per Sector    512
    Sectors Per Track    63
 IDE Controller
    Name    Intel(R) 82371SB PCI Bus Master IDE Controller
    Manufacturer    Intel
    Status    OK

Top

Display
 Video Adapter
    Name    NVIDIA Quadro RTX 5000
    Video Processor    Quadro RTX 5000
    Manufacturer    NVIDIA
    Video Architecture    VGA
    DAC Type    Integrated RAMDAC
    Memory Size    16.0 GB
    Memory Type    Unknown
    Video Mode    1920 x 1080 x 4294967296 colors
    Current Refresh Rate    59 Hz
    Driver Version    27.21.14.6109
    Driver Date    12/31/2020
 Monitor
    Name    Generic PnP Monitor
    Screen Height    1080
    Screen Width    1920
    Status    OK

Top

Network
 Ethernet
    Product Name    Red Hat VirtIO Ethernet Adapter
    Service Name    netkvm
    Manufacturer    Red Hat, Inc.
    MAC Address    00:42:F1:FE:D4:EC
 Ethernet 2
    Product Name    TunnelBear Adapter V9
    Service Name    tap-tb-0901
    Manufacturer    TunnelBear Provider V9
    MAC Address    00:FF:BE:A7:AC:4F

Top

Other Devices
 Sound Device
    Name    Shadow Virtual Audio Device
    Manufacturer    ShadowVirtualAudio
    Status    OK
 Sound Device
    Name    Shadow Virtual Audio Device
    Manufacturer    ShadowVirtualAudio
    Status    OK
 Mouse
    Name    PS/2 Compatible Mouse
    Manufacturer    Microsoft
    Buttons    0
    Status    OK
 Mouse
    Name    HID-compliant mouse
    Manufacturer    Microsoft
    Buttons    0
    Status    OK
 Mouse
    Name    HID-compliant mouse
    Manufacturer    Microsoft
    Buttons    0
    Status    OK
 Mouse
    Name    HID-compliant mouse
    Manufacturer    Microsoft
    Buttons    0
    Status    OK
 Mouse
    Name    HID-compliant mouse
    Manufacturer    Microsoft
    Buttons    0
    Status    OK
 Keyboard
    Name    HID Keyboard Device
    Description    Enhanced (101- or 102-key)
    Function Keys    12
    Status    OK
 Keyboard
    Name    Standard PS/2 Keyboard
    Description    Enhanced (101- or 102-key)
    Function Keys    12
    Status    OK
 Keyboard
    Name    HID Keyboard Device
    Description    Enhanced (101- or 102-key)
    Function Keys    12
    Status    OK
 Keyboard
    Name    HID Keyboard Device
    Description    Enhanced (101- or 102-key)
    Function Keys    12
    Status    OK
 Keyboard
    Name    USB Input Device
    Description    Enhanced (101- or 102-key)
    Function Keys    12
    Status    OK
 USB Controller
    Product Name    Intel(R) 82371SB PCI to USB Universal Host Controller
    Manufacturer    Intel
    Protocol Supported    Universal Serial Bus
    Status    OK
 USB Controller
    Product Name    Intel(R) 82371SB PCI to USB Universal Host Controller
    Manufacturer    Intel
    Protocol Supported    Universal Serial Bus
    Status    OK
 USB Controller
    Product Name    Intel(R) 82801DB/DBM USB 2.0 Enhanced Host Controller - 24CD
    Manufacturer    Intel
    Protocol Supported    Universal Serial Bus
    Status    OK
 USB Controller
    Product Name    Renesas USB 3.0 eXtensible Host Controller - 1.0 (Microsoft)
    Manufacturer    Generic USB xHCI Host Controller
    Protocol Supported    Universal Serial Bus
    Status    OK

this town don't feel mine

in my town of hibbing, minnesota. it feels different than other places. I grew up in Pengilly, Minnesota. Population of like 100. Average ag...